Fraidykids

Monday started a new session of swim classes for Clara. Watching her hesitate to jump into the pool, not because she's afraid to jump into the water, but because she's afraid of the jets (or "sprinklers" as she calls them) in the pool, made me want to devote this post to "things my kids are afraid of". After much reading about Asperger's Syndrome online and talking with Clara's teacher and special education teacher about it this past week, I realize that irrational fears are a symptom. With that being a tentative explanation for many of Clara's fears, I still have to wonder about Lucas. Is it more a monkey see-monkey do situation, or do we live in a scarier world than even I was aware?

Clara has been afraid of the overflow holes in all sinks for as long as I can remember (though somehow she has come to terms with the one in her bathroom and in the bathroom downstairs, she still won't wash her hands in the master bathroom). She won't even walk into a bathroom if she can see the overflow hole in the mirror. Our strategy lately has been to have her close her eyes and then I guide her to the sink. This is much preferable to the meltdowns she used to have when there were no paper towels to cover the holes.

Lately the exposed pipes under sinks in public places scare her (though she admits to not wanting to look at the pipes under the sinks at home either).

As stated above, jets (in pools, in tubs... any jets) are taboo. This posed a huge issue when visiting my dad one Thanksgiving after they remodeled the bathroom that we would be using and put in a nice jacuzzi tub. Now whenever we visit, she showers.

Flashing lights have been an issue for both Clara and Lucas. Our subwoofer would turn off automatically; before turning off, the green lights would flash and then turn red. During the day, Clara would periodically ask if the lights were going to flash, even if the subwoofer wasn't on. Lucas would run from the room when he saw them flashing. Even now, the subwoofer has been long since unplugged, neither of them will go anywhere in its general vicinity.

Both Clara and Lucas show anxiety at small red lights (like the one on the baby monitor to show that it's turned on). We had Eli in Clara's room for a week while my dad was here. She complained constantly afterward about how she didn't want Eli sleeping in her room anymore. I thought it was because he sometimes cried in the night... but no... it was because I put the monitor in her room. I've been talking a while now to Lucas about Eli moving into his room with him and his response is always the same, "Eli's crib, but not the monitor". If it's dark in the hallway, they won't go past Eli's room if they can see the monitor light. And there was the time that we were in a doctor's office that had a light switch with a small red indicator light. I heard about that for weeks afterward.

They both are affected by loud noises (although I was super shocked that the fireworks didn't bother them at all).

They both find crowds highly undesirable, though I have to empathize with them on this one. I often site the example of Clara's kindergarten open house when I lost sight of her for a minute, only to find her in a corner eyes shut tight and hands covering her ears.

Clara is afraid of all dogs (which makes it interesting to visit my mom's house with her huge cocker spaniel). She used to be afraid of cats, too, but once she realized that most cats run away from her, she loosened up.

Clara used to have an issue with Cyberchase (the PBS show). It used to come on right after Dragon Tales and before it would even come on, she'd be screaming for me to turn the TV off. It must have changed times on the schedule because we never run into it anymore... thank goodness.

Certain characters on TV (i.e. the giant from the SuperWhy episode of Jack and the Beanstalk) and certain scenes in TV/movies (i.e. when the clock struck midnight in Cinderella) really affect both Clara and Lucas. They both have been pretty good about controlling their comfort levels when watching TV; when something on TV makes them uncomfortable, they'll either leave the room or ask to turn the show off.

I've noticed that as Clara gets a little older, she handles her fears much better. The fears haven't gone away at all, but how she reacts has changed immensely. An example that I want to share: we were in the locker room getting ready for swim class and I needed to wash my hands. She took a glance over at the sinks, looked at me and calmly stated "I don't like the overflow holes, but I'm not scared". Funny thing was, she still had to be guided, eyes closed, to the sink to wash her hands.

Lucas has always been a pillar. Even when something scares him, he doesn't fall apart. He has a way of controlling himself and either leaving the area or asking for help. And as I type this... it seems completely the opposite of what I was saying about him just a few weeks ago, right after he bit that little boy in preschool!! Funny...

I'm curious to know what Eli will add to the mix. Maybe he'll end up being our fearless one. Hmmm, I'm not sure I like that thought as I'm picturing daredevil-type scenarios in my head, ending in hospital runs. Maybe a little fear is good!